A Mother's love
by TheBoyOnSpinnersEnd
Summary: Lily writes a letter to her son for his eighteen birthday. Giving advice,her hopes and dreams and most of all, her love. Cannon Compliant.


Disclaimer: I own nothing...

31st July, 1981

_Dearest Harry, _

_If you are reading this,my son it means we did not make it. If you are reading this it means you did. Happy birthday Harry, I have put this letter in the Potter vault to be given to you on your 18th birthday it seems surreal that I am writing to my son of eighteen years when I can hear you downstairs giggling with your father and Uncle Sirius just now. It seems surreal that I am writing to my son of only three years my junior! My dearest son I am so sorry if you had to grow up without us, your parents. I can only hope that Uncle Sirius was the one to take care of you and you were not left to fend for yourself. I can only pray that you have had the childhood that you most deserve. My son we are in hiding now. We are being hunted by a most evil man. It has been written in the stars and moons my child that you will be the one to defeat him._

_Lord Voldemort is his name. I hope that you will never and have never had to worry about him. I hope for your sake that far greater men have defeated him. I have no doubt that you are a great and magnificent wizard and man Harry, but I know too that you are still only a boy, bearly a man, and it is my greatest fear that you will have this great and glooming duty thrust upon you. It is my greatest fear that this man will scar you beyond repair. He has already marked you as his equal, I can feel it. Call it a Mother's intuition if you will. I just pray that you have had love and guidance along the way. A candle to light your way in darkness. I know what staying in the dark can do to a man, Harry. It makes them bitter, and have a thirst for power. It was once said to me that the best people suited to power are those you never sought it. I do not know what sort of man you are Harry, but remember that light can be found even when all the candles have been blown out, sometimes one just needs another's hand to guide them in the right direction. _

_If are anything like James you will value your friends above almost all else, you will do anything to aid them in their schemes and plans, you will be there in times of need and would go to great lengths to keep them safe. If you are anything like me you will be hot headed, I am not afraid to admit it, I have a fiery temper, but do not let that get in the way of the people that mean the most to you. I once had a friend that meant the world to me for a very long time, I always felt that he was the only one that knew the real me and would never judge me. I should have realised at the time that I should have to return the favor when I turned my back on him. In my fifteen year old mind my reaction was entirely justified, but if I have but one regret in my life it is that I never looked beyond the surface. I never took him back, or gave him the chance to explain. At the time, my love, I thought I was losing him to a side I was not willing to cross, I didn't realise until much later that I had just pushed him further into the shadows. I regret everyday that I did not stay outside my common room door to listen to my dearest and oldest friend explain and that I did not give him the chance that I feel now he deserved. I do not want you to have any regrets, my love, they can be like a wound in your chest, too much of a burden to ignore and sometimes too painful to look at. I miss my best friend, I can only hope that I had the chance to tell him that I love him and that I am truly sorry, before my end. _

_I hope you find love my son. It is the greatest bond you will ever be in with another being. It is hard to describe the lengths some people go through for their loved ones. There are no limits to what people will go through for the people they love. For some it is simply making the other person realise that they love them back, for others it is an oath or promise, for some it is the risk of death or torture. For you my love I hope you find a person you can confined in with all things, a person that knows and accepts the real you. I sometimes find myself wondering who I really am at times and then I look at James, your father, and I remember. The person that you find worthy of your love may be someone least expected. Or it may have been for seen for years. I can only hope for you that it is sweet and pure and that you are safe and content and most of all happy in your choosing. Then again it may not be your choice at all, love can be found in the strangest of places. I think it one of the most fickle forms of magic. Like wandlore I feel that love chooses the person really. That we cannot decide for ourselves. It would be nice to choose but I don't think it works that way. The way the light and pleasant magic calls to some and the dark seductive reaps in others I feel that love is a magic in itself. What else could it be what I feel for you. A mother's love for child is the strongest love one can find. A parent never stops loving their child. I know Uncle Sirius doesn't speak to his mother but I do believe she loves him but in a way she would never show. For some witches and wizards it is seen as weakness to show such emotion, but we are all human and they feel just as the rest of us do, they just don't convey it through hugs and kisses and words of endearment. They show their love through in wanting their children to do their best in life, to succeed, to not be looked down upon. Every mother sees their child as the best and some, like in the case of Walburga Black, want to rest of the world to know it too. I know when you have children of your own that you will find the irreversible pull to your child that I find when I look at you. That you will want to hold onto your child and never let go, keep them from growing up and leaving you. To keep them from all the dangers the world has to offer. _

_I pray every night for you my child, I pray to a God I'm not even sure exists in a vain attempt to keep you safe, to keep you alive. I can only assume, and pray and hope with all my heart that I have succeed. I did not know how empty my live was before you were in it. I would fight for you, kill for you, die for you. I would sacrifice everything for you my little angel. _

_Today was your very first birthday. Your Uncle Sirius bought you a junior broom even though I specifically told him not to. (I don't want you flying around on that death contraption! You are James Potter's son however, so I have no hope do I?) I baked a cake especially for you but you didn't eat much of it. Don't worry your father and uncle made up for both of us! I looked down at you my little angel with your all ready messy, inky locks, your red puffy cheeks and my eyes staring back at me and I thought of how long I would have left with you. _

_I would give you the moon if I could, I would hand you the world on a silver platter if it were that easy. I want you to be certain of one thing above all else from reading this letter, that you were, and always will be loved by me and your father. It will go on after us, our love for you. Our spirits will travel with you, guiding you. Whenever you run your hand through your hair or read a book for pleasure we are with you. When you fly a broom or when you defend a friend, we are there._

_I love you, my son._

_With all my love,_

_Your mother, _

_Lily x x x _


End file.
